Last year I posted an entry about St. Nicholas and the rather unsavory company he keeps. Child murderers, demons and hags (oh my). Well, the Krampus proved very popular, earning me another nickname that has stuck around throughout the year.
The Krampus is a demon that, with the approval of kindly St. Nick, terrorizes bad children and apparently lusts after the ladies. His chief implements of torture seem to be a switch and a tongue which would embarrass Gene Simmons. This is designed to frighten children into behaving well. Germanic peoples have always understood that the best way to rear children is by keeping them terrified of the consequences of bad behavior. My mother used to get on the phone to call “The Nanny,” a character who rammed food down the throats of ungrateful children with her thorny stick. I credit my continued membership in the Clean Plate Club™ to these threats.
If you’ve never read Der Struwwelpeter then you don’t know what you’re missing. It’s a childrens book which uses stories and wonderful illustrations to suggest that misbehavior is likely to end in disaster and even death. It’s a wonderful tool.
So, enjoy these Krampuses, have a happy St. Nicholas Day and behave or die!
First Krampus scours the globe. With many means of travel available, hiding is futile.
These unsuspecting children have got the game twisted. Krampus is no joke!
Krampus will hear your prayers. “I can’t hear you!” St. Nick says, “Let’s do this.”
First he enslaves you, then he licks you, tosses you in a basket and… ultimately murders you.
Krampus has only one weakness!
real Krampus with bad children
Eric Brightwell is an adventurer, writer, rambler, explorer, cartographer, and guerrilla gardener who is always seeking writing, speaking, traveling, and art opportunities — or salaried work. He is not interested in writing advertorials, clickbait, listicles, or other 21st century variations of spam. Brightwell’s written work has appeared in Amoeblog, diaCRITICS, and KCET Departures. His work has been featured by the American Institute of Architects, the Architecture & Design Museum, the Craft & Folk Art Museum, Form Follows Function, Los Angeles County Store, Skid Row Housing Trust, and 1650 Gallery. Brightwell has been featured in the Los Angeles Times, Huffington Post, Los Angeles Magazine, LAist, Eastsider LA, Boing Boing, Los Angeles, I’m Yours, and on Notebook on Cities and Culture. He has been a guest speaker on KCRW‘s Which Way, LA? and at Emerson College. Art prints of his maps are available from 1650 Gallery and on other products from Cal31. He is currently writing a book about Los Angeles and you can follow him on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
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